The Pipe has been packed and smoked. You’d be forgiven for thinking the finals day on the North Shore was actually a fever dream, brought on from excessive laydays. The women didn’t crack double digits in their podium match up, despite their semis being some of the best viewing the entire event. The men tied (TIED!) despite Leo looking like he’d clearly pulled off the biggest switcheroo heist since the Italian Job. The only people doing the robbing were the judges though. Just ask Instagram comments. They’re never wrong.   

Now the tour flies to a desert oasis built on wealth generated from its subterranean pool of liquid dinosaur bones. Does it get any weirder? Yes. They’ll be riding waves created by a train pulled on cables, in the world’s-first saltwater surf tub, with an official beer sponsor lurking in the online ads when the country frowns upon drinking alcohol. Oh, and Tyler and her wife could be thrown in jail for being gay if they turn up? 

At least we don’t have to worry about laydays. When it’s on, it’s on.  

Those with all-round air and carve games, with a little flute threading thrown in will do well. Surfers who thrive in smaller surf have the definite advantage, as do those who have spent plenty of time in chlorinated environments. The wave is very, very similar to Surf Ranch in California, with a little more size and a little more length. That’s not even innuendo. It’s just the facts. Look at your history from that event and you have a good start. Here are your best WSL Fantasy Surfer picks for Abu Dhabi 2025.

Caity Simmers

It’s hard to argue with Caity’s form after Pipe. She showed zero signs of the world title jitters, taking the spotlight in her stride. Her tube, carve and air game will be almost impossible to beat at this wave too. Without Carissa at this comp (who beat Simmers in the semis last time) it’s hard to see her not winning. Her backhand is even better than her forehand. Her chilled attitude suits a high-pressure environment like this. She’ll probably wear a beanie instead of a helmet in her heats, just to throw some extra steez in her step. She’s in my team, powered up like a hip hop dynamo. 

Erin Brooks

Young EB didn’t live up to expectations in the last event. She added about as many points to my team as watching Youtube Shorts adds to my IQ count. Keep on the smart bet though and don’t let your attention span wander to the next bright thing. In tier B she’s good value. As a tier C pick, she’s liquid natural gas. I’d expect her and Caity to be facing off come final time if they don’t meet up earlier. Get her in. 

Sawyer Lindblad

After the way the seeds have scattered since Pipe, it’s going to be very very hard not to just pick the obvious choices in tier B like Caroline and Tati. They’ve both done consistently well in the pool in the past. If you’re looking for a sneaky pick not many people will have, however, Sawyer is a great option. Her backhand attack is especially insane. She’s sneaky good in the barrel. She’s from California so has spent a fair pit of time in Kelly’s pool getting used to mechanical madness and was in Abu Dhabi a couple of months ago getting more practice in. Definitely consider.

Betty Lou

You might be forgiven for thinking Betty Lou is a good sneaky pick for the pool. Her style is spicy, she’s great in all conditions, and her progression is impressive. But, last time she competed at the pool, she bottom scored in the qualifying. Seriously. She was younger and greener, but her confidence has taken a huge hit at Pipe after not even cracking a 5 point total in either of her heats. This event is all about nerves of steel, getting the score on the few chances that are served up on a plate to you. Her head will be spinning a bit right now, so I’d be spinning her off into the desert sunset. 

Filipe Toledo

The greatest small wave surfer on the planet without exception is in Tier B at the pool. Bargain! Despite this being the ‘tallest manufactured wave’ on the planet, it ain’t exactly Nazare. Fil will slay harder here than Buffy at a vampire buffet. How would you not pick him in one of your slots is beyond me, but then, stranger things have happened. Someone in my fantasy surfer clubhouse (who I’ll simply nickname ‘Shane Helm’) took Barron Mamiya out of his team for Pipe and put in Filipe. He’s now never allowed to go to Hawaii ever again. Don’t get on the blacklist for a similar silly move. Vote 1 – Toledo. 

Italo Ferreira

Another rainmaker in the Brazilian storm, Italo was throwing hurricanes at Pipe. Full rote attempts on wild end sections, pop shove-its to switch foot closeout snaps, more tunnel vision than Elon’s Boring Company. Think about what he’ll do on this wave of inconsequence. Double back flips? I’ll be doubling him up as my power guy, since he pretty much sticks his fingers in the electric socket to wake himself up with a shot of Red Bull. He and Kanoa are your two surest options in Tier A, which is otherwise stacked with goats and field Marshalls.

Cole Houshman

I thought about putting Griffin here, but as defending event champ he’s not exactly an underdog in the pool is he? Ironically, the guy you might be overlooking is about seven feet tall and has hair like a leopard cow. Cole Houshman starred in the 2023 Surf Ranch Pro as a wildcard and blitzed his qualifying round with 15 points, ahead of guys like John John, Kanoa and Jordy. Unfortunately the next round, he must’ve gotten on the 805 tins, because he stunk harder than a Venice Beach toilet block. If he can find that same form this time around, he’d be a worth addition to your team. 

Jack Robbo

I’m predicting Jack will win Portugal. Here though? Donuts. Jack is probably the best read of the ocean out of anyone currently on tour. Take that out of the equation and a huge advantage is gone. The pool is just plug and play. While Robbo may pull out some Houdini shit, I’m guessing he’ll finish the qualifying round barely in the middle of the road and get out of dodge as soon as the next flight squeals off the tarmac. Ethan is the better Aussie this time around. Opt for him if you want a southern cross flag waving above your desert fortress.

That’s the latest and greatest. Remember, set your picks now. The turn around for the Abu Dhabi event to start is fast and there’s no ‘elimination’ round waiting period weirdness to give you extra time to reshuffle your picks. Lock and load. 

And for anyone questioning our talents, here’s Lincoln perfect team below…